Have I Given My All?


How do you see yourself in worship? Do you see yourself as a worshipper? These are questions that I found myself facing this morning. My answer is that I aspire to be a true worshipper, but I fall short in many areas. Do I write these things to seek the pity from others or to mask some narcissistic need to exemplify my self-importance? No, I write this because I found out that reality has brought me here upon carefully searching within and realizing that, although I may write what others are thinking and feeling, or even may need to hear…I, too, am in the same state of existence as the ones I write to daily…

When I reflect further, I realize that I am not living the life that God planned for me. I realize that I am still struggling with my will versus doing His will. I realize that I cannot truly live until I learn how to truly sacrifice myself upon the altar completely…letting the fire of the Holy Spirit consume me completely in order that I may be crucified with Christ…but yet still live because of the life of Christ within me…

My journey to becoming a true worshipper is far from being over. I want to live. I want to be free. The only thing that is stopping me from living free as a true worshipper is me…#‎thinkonthesethings‬


13 thoughts on “Have I Given My All?

  1. That is a fantastic post, Sean! We need to get ourselve out of the way in order see us. With every experience we make, with every encounter, every disappointment, every “failure” and every success, we find out a little more about ourselves – but only if we seek the root for all of this within ourselves….

    1. Yes, there has been a lot of that going within myself for the past couple of weeks. I’m seeking to truly live life in complete freedom in Christ the way He intended for us to live. It all starts with me looking internally.

  2. I hear your mental suffering. Let me say a few things to help alleviate and take the edge off.
    Everyone has some natural, healthy narcissistic qualities. That is needing to take care of your own needs.

    As adults, we have to be our own parents and this requires having to focus on ourselves sometimes. When there is any kind of crisis….it could be a physical illness, an emotional trauma or a mental suffering type of crisis which is what I hear happening with you…..we have to focus more on ourselves and our healing.

    This extra focus on taking care of ourselves and protecing ourselves is critical to our survival. It is built into us by God and is therefore Not evil.

    Wanting to be noticed and seen by others is also healthy and normal. It is not being a narcissist to want others to hear your message, especially when that message is for the benefit of others and it also glorifies God.

    No one wants to be invisible. God did not design humans to be isolated, Iinvisible or to ignore their own needs for the sake of others.

    There is a saying that I like . It has no known origin of who first wrote it.
    ” You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. ”

    If you sacrifice yourself too much, out of a fear of being too selfish, too narcissistic. ..then you will cause yourself to mentally crash and even physically crash.

    If you remember, Jesus had friends, followers and family around him
    They deeply loved and admired him. He had needs to be seen and loved.

    If Jesus needed to be noticed, heard and loved then how can you be a bad person for having the same needs.

    I also want to tell you from my extensive research and experience with narcissists that NARCISSISTS NEVER WILL WORRY ABOUT BEING a NArcissist. They do not have empathy or care if they are doing the right thing.

    The fact that you have empathy for others and care about doing ” the right thing” shows moral values that the narcissist does NOT posess.

    You are not narcissistic. You are just a man who is trying to do the right things and struggling in a world that is sometimes cold and harsh.

    This is not an easy world to survive in, especially for empathetic, compassionate people who can see all the suffering and injustice in the world.

    It gets to us. It gets to me. It is getting to you. Being sensitive, empathetic and intelligent can be a blessing and a curse because you are able to see suffering and you know you cannot do anything about a lot of it.

    You CAN bring your Light to your own space in the world. The ones near you can feel your goodness and are blessed by you.

    Much love,
    Annie <3

    1. Thanks, Annie! It does get to me when I see a lot of the injustices going on…sometimes it makes you feel like you’re the lone voice drowning in the midst of a sea of voices saying otherwise…

  3. Hi Sean. I tried to leave this message for you in the conversation on my insomnia post, but when I hit post , the comment did not appear.
    I wanted to let you know that I just posted something that has many resources about the things we were talking about.

    I wrote the post and out all the videos and resources in the one place that I felt would be helpful to several different readers who have been asking similar kinds of questions and that the related topics have come up .

    Many people have been bringing up issues like negative self talk, perfectionist attitudes and unreachable goals that they set for themselves. difficulty feeling like they are living up to their own expectations of themselves etc.

    Many of these kinds of thoughts are rooted in people’s past and there are thoughts that were fed to us by others,

    I just wanted to give you a head’s up about the Spartan Life Coach videos. These videos are very insightful. He is very knowledgeable and is a Life Coach and also is a certified therapist with a degree is psychology and NLP training certification.

    But he does use some swear words in the videos from time to time. It is not too many but I wanted to let you know. He also has one small section of one of the videos…i do not remember which one….where he refers to the Job story in the Old testament as a fictional story designed to show what narcissism is…

    Because almost all of his information and ideas are so good, I choose to ignore any parts like the swear words and the possibly mislead bible opinion. You can get a lot of really stuff from his videos…you just have to let a few things go by. They do not last long.

    Anyway, I wanted to make sure I let you know , as a courtesy. I think you can get a lot out of the information in the post and the videos. I spent most of today putting it together because I had been gotten questions and comments lately and I thought all of those people could use this information.

    You are the only one I am sending a head’s up to about the post. I wanted to let you know, since we had been conversing a bit the other day about these topics.

    Feel free to delete this comment since it is soooooo long. I am sorry. I am getting into a too many words mode today. It happens to me sometimes.

    It will not hurt my feelings if you delete this, If you do not know how, I will help.

    Talk to you later on
    Annie <3

      1. Ok. Sometimes I ramble on and then when I back I am surprised that I wrote so much.
        I am just hanging out with the bunny.
        I have done enough blogging today.
        Time for Netflix 🙂

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